To be loved by the two who created you and not from the strangers who bought you, is natural and beautiful. But I was denied this primal family structure to support a business and an unfamiliar infertile couple

(Originally published at Anonymous Us) From the eyes of a donored baby: I’m told to be thankful for my donors because they gave me life, but this life is not merely a kidney transplant, this life is 50% of who I am genetically and biologically: my heredity, the...

J. Chen – My family ideal won’t simply revolve around my desires and what I think could make me happy, since the purpose of having a family is to make one another prosper

In 1997, at three months old, I was sent back to my parent’s hometown in China. They came from the southern part of China, in a province called Fuzhou, where many immigrated from to seize economic freedom. My parents had an arranged marriage, as was common in China....

Stephen – Some things that you’re supposed to learn from your father, I had to learn from other people or figure them out on my own, because Dad wasn’t there

For the most part, Dad was the breadwinner and Mom was the disciplinarian. There were times when Dad would discipline my brother and me, but mostly he just wanted to horse around with us. He was a big kid himself. Perhaps because I’m the younger child, or because I...

Tara – The father in my house was not really my dad

My parents married at 18 years of age because of my impending arrival. My mother and I—along with my brother, who came along 15 months later—lived with my maternal grandparents for the first few years of my life. My dad was in the US Air Force and stationed far away,...

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Rhianna – I never have had a mom’s love and affection

I am a 38-year-old married woman, a wife of 10 years, and a mother to a 3.5-year-old daughter and a 1-year old son. My mother is African American and my father is/was Caucasian. I was born in the late 70’s where it was still taboo for interracial relationships to...

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Them Before Us is made up of ordinary adults who are committed to putting the needs of children at the forefront of the battle surrounding the very foundation of our society - marriage and family.  Are you an ordinary person too? Does your simple blood boil when children are expected to conform to the lifestyle of adults because you understand, maybe firsthand, how hard that is on kids? And are you tired of culture framing adults as victims when we all know that kids are the ones who have to pay the price? If so, we are your people. 

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