Children's Rights Before Adult Desires.

Giving children a voice in the debate over family structure.
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Them Before Us “Chapter One”

Laws around parenthood are rapidly changing. Mothers and fathers are now considered legally optional and biology is being replaced by “intent” to parent. Functionally, that makes children commodities to be cut and pasted into any/every adult relationship. Children are intentionally denied a relationship with one or both parents to whom they have a natural right. Unlike adoption, which seeks to protect children by requiring adults to undergo vetting and screening prior to placement, new parenthood laws award children to whichever adult(s) has the money and means to acquire them. And that, my friends, is an injustice that puts both individual children, as well as all of society, at risk.

HERE’S THE TRUTH

CHILDREN HAVE RIGHTS

Yes. They do. Children have a fundamental right to be known and loved by the two people who made them: their mother and father. It’s a right that’s recognized worldwide.

CHILDREN HAVE NEEDS

And it goes way beyond being “safe and loved.” Children are made for the daily love and involvement of both their biological mother and father.

CHILDREN NEED A VOICE

“I want my mom and dad to love me and I want them to love each other.” – Jocie, age 7. If children could order their own world, that’s what they would say.

HERE’S WHAT MATTERS

GENDER MATTERS

Gender differences are a real phenomenon. From their brains, to the way they communicate, to their physical bodies, men and women are gloriously different. When it comes to parenting, those differences offer complementary benefits to children.

MARRIAGE MATTERS

Marriage is not just some outdated religious concept.  It’s simply the combination of three things that children need to thrive- mother, father, and stability. These are the three staples in a child’s social and emotional diet.

BIOLOGY MATTERS

Biological connection matters to children.  Not only does it provide them with the adults who are most likely to be protective of, attached to, and invested in them, but it also gives them access to their biological identity.

HERE’S WHO’S IMPACTED

CHILDREN OF DIVORCE & ABANDONMENT

Both my mom and dad had children with their new spouses, but neither of my step-parents treated me the same as they did their own children.  It felt like I was the third wheel, like I was being pushed out of a relationship that was established before either of the step parents and their children came along. 

DONOR CONCEIVED CHILDREN

I spent about six weeks mourning the loss of biological connection to my dad. Nothing seemed to be true and stable. I felt as though I no longer knew who I was. I realized that there was a man out there who I did look like who fathered me and began to mourn the loss of a man who I never even knew existed until a few weeks earlier.

CHILDREN WITH LGBT PARENTS

I am a child of lesbian parents. This is a testimony that it is unheard of because nobody wants to hear about the other side of the rainbow.  Growing up I felt that I was missing a father before I could even articulate what a father was. I knew that I loved both of my parents, but I could not place my finger on what it is I was missing inside myself.  

Get On Board

You’re here which means you’re one of Us. You see the truth of this site in the faces of children you know; children paying the emotional price the adults in their lives aren’t willing to pay. Perhaps you even see that pain in the mirror. Simply knowing the truth isn’t enough, you have to take action or this whole exercise is futile.
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Help Us Put Children's Rights First.

Them Before Us is made up of ordinary adults who are committed to putting the needs of children at the forefront of the battle surrounding the very foundation of our society - marriage and family.  Are you an ordinary person too? Does your simple blood boil when children are expected to conform to the lifestyle of adults because you understand, maybe firsthand, how hard that is on kids? And are you tired of culture framing adults as victims when we all know that kids are the ones who have to pay the price? If so, we are your people.

Join us. Stand strong. Speak up. Lose friends.

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