My mom came out as gay in 2017 and ended my parents’ marriage of 33 years. She had been cheating on my dad with her mistress she met through a church group. I’m not sure how long their relationship had been like that, but we had known the other woman for years before the truth came out. She was friendly with all of us and had attended my sister’s wedding among other things.
This absolutely wrecked my and my siblings’ mental health. My mom told us kids countless times growing up that we never had to worry that they would split. It wasn’t even a possibility. My mom’s dad cheated on my grandma and ended their marriage, too, so she was repeating the sins of her father in the worst way. I was depressed and suffered from thoughts of suicide. I felt like my whole existence was called into question.
You know what people (and I mean a very large number) would say when I told them my mom left my dad for a woman? “At least she’s being true to herself now.” Imagine what it does to someone to be told that his mother’s true self is one that never would have created him. No one would have dared to say that if she’d left my dad for another man.
My dad remarried last year and I’m very happy for him. My mom wrecked his life and he managed to put it back together better than before.
My mom married her mistress. Holidays are a yearly struggle. Setting boundaries with my mom’s partner is awful because my mom is emotionally manipulative. But I have a baby now and there’s no way he’s growing up thinking of that woman as family. So yeah, it’s a nightmare. And I think it’s worse when a ton of people treat it like something worth celebrating.