Dear MP Sovsun,

My name is Katy Faust and I am the President of Them Before Us. We represent the children who will be harmed if you approve the draft law on civil partnerships for same-sex couples.

In the past year, thousands of Ukrainian children have lost their mother or father due to the choices of the Russian government.

Your draft law will result in Ukrainian children losing their mother or father due to the choices of their own government.

Children have a right to be known and loved by their mother and father. They suffer when they are raised apart from one or both. Marriage is the vehicle that every culture and religion throughout the world has used to unite a child to their mother and father for life. Same-sex marriage is incompatible with that child right.

We don’t have to guess about what happens after same-sex partnerships are legalized. A survey of countries which have redefined the family clearly reveals that gay marriage and children’s right to their mother and father cannot coexist. Once you make husbands and wives optional in marriage law, mothers and fathers become optional in parenthood law.

How are the Ukrainian children faring who have lost their mother or father at the hands of the Russian soldiers? Do they grieve? Long for their missing parent? Wish they could have their mother or father back? Of course they do. That’s because human children are made for the daily love of their mother and father. Children who lose their mother or father to tragedy have a life-long hole in their heart.

Children who lose their mother or father so they can be raised in the home of two moms or two dads also grieve and long for their missing parent. That’s because these children are also made for the daily love of their mother and father. Children who lose their mother or father intentionally have a life-long hole in their heart. As one boy with two moms shares,

When puberty hit, I became increasingly aware of the hole in my life where I wanted a father. Being without a named father has put me into something of a perpetual existential crisis. I feel as though I was not even conceived out of love – I was conceived because my parents could afford to buy the necessary ingredient… I will never know half of my biology, half of where I come from and why I exist. I feel robbed of an experience afforded to nearly everyone else in the world. The worst part is, I feel utterly alone in this state of being. Children who have deceased fathers at least have their mother’s memory to go off of, pictures, stories. A name, even. I will always have nothing.

The best studies we have on outcomes for children in same-sex partnerships validate their emotional and developmental struggles. Here’s one sample from a national data set.

You are advancing this law as a means of “correcting a great injustice” because some “citizens have fewer rights than all others.” You will have to choose whose rights you want to champion- either the so-called “right to marry” of a few adults whose legitimate needs for property ownership, inheritance, rights in case of death which can be easily solved via powers of attorney, or the universal rights of every child to “both parents” that you agreed to protect when you signed the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child in 1991. You cannot do both.

You must choose a side- the side of a progressive agenda seeking to upend the traditions of Ukraine, or the side of every Ukrainian child who deserves their mother’s and father’s love, for life.


Katy Faust

Photo Credit- Kacper Pempel/Reuters