Quite simply, growing up with gay parents was very difficult, and not because of prejudice from neighbors. People in our community didn’t really know what was going on in the house. To most outside observers, I was a well-raised, high-achieving child, finishing high school with straight A’s. Inside, however, I was confused… My peers learned all the unwritten rules of decorum and body language in their homes; they understood what was appropriate to say in certain settings and what wasn’t; they learned both traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine social mechanisms…
I had no male figure at all to follow, and my mother and her partner were both unlike traditional fathers or traditional mothers. As a result, I had very few recognizable social cues to offer potential male or female friends, since I was neither confident nor sensitive to others. Thus I befriended people rarely and alienated others easily. Gay people who grew up in straight parents’ households may have struggled with their sexual orientation; but when it came to the vast social universe of adaptations not dealing with sexuality—how to act, how to speak, how to behave—they had the advantage of learning at home. Many gays don’t realize what a blessing it was to be reared in a traditional home…
In terms of sexuality, gays who grew up in traditional households benefited from at least seeing some kind of functional courtship rituals around them. I had no clue how to make myself attractive to girls. When I stepped outside of my mothers’ trailer, I was immediately tagged as an outcast because of my girlish mannerisms, funny clothes, lisp, and outlandishness. Not surprisingly, I left high school as a virgin, never having had a girlfriend, instead having gone to four proms as a wisecracking sidekick to girls who just wanted someone to chip in for a limousine.
When I got to college, I set off everyone’s “gaydar” and the campus LGBT group quickly descended upon me to tell me it was 100-percent certain I must be a homosexual. When I came out as bisexual, they told everyone I was lying and just wasn’t ready to come out of the closet as gay yet. Frightened and traumatized by my mother’s death, I dropped out of college in 1990 and fell in with what can only be called the gay underworld. Terrible things happened to me there…
Read more at Public Discourse
Problem is that just any father is not enough and so many men seem to have an aversion towards family life and responsibilities and behave in an immature,reckless,selfish manner. They womanise profusely with likewise women,go out a lot,lead lives of single,free men while the mothers are stuck at home with the babies.
Only once the fed up, exhausted and emotionally drained mother wants to separate, the fathers demand fathers’ rights and gloat about being highly important in their children’s lives. That is not a kind of father for boys to emulate as it only causes further societal destruction yet courts now force the abused or neglected mothers and children whose lives those men destabilized and ruined to worship the role of such fathers meaning the courts promote their misogynistic version of fatherhood starting in divorce courts instead of at conception. Such legal abuse of the victims doubles the mental injury and teaches the children that parental negligence and selfishness pays off as appalling, immoral parents are treated the same, and even better, than the devoted ones.
Unless that changes, many more children and adults will suffer, depression ,poverty and life destruction will be mammoth and rising.
Simply, those who are not for parenthood and parental sacrifices should not be legally encouraged to have children as it is now (and they often have several sets of children as they just go from one partner to another). Instead, those who are naturally fatherly and motherly, want to lead a stable,child-centered life, yet terrified of settling down in today’s climate of allowing the worst of people to get away with everything in family courts should be legally encouraged and protected to do so. That is the only way forward for a decent-quality childhood and life foundations.
Of course, there is a question why judges and politicians desperately prefer it this current way.
Robert, your June 11 article on the Left Losing our Culture seems unfinished. I found it quite interesting and thoughtful, but was expecting more concluding remarks. Could you possibly publish a bit more for the article?