My mom raised me with her same-sex partner back in the ’80s and ’90s… Do you remember that book, “Heather Has Two Mommies”? That was my life. My mom, her partner, and I lived in a cozy little house in the ‘burbs of a very liberal and open-minded area. Her partner treated me as if I was her own daughter…
Growing up, and even into my 20s, I supported and advocated for gay marriage. It’s only with some time and distance from my childhood that I’m able to reflect on my experiences and recognize the long-term consequences that same-sex parenting had on me. And it’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting.
Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.
I grew up surrounded by women who said they didn’t need or want a man. Yet, as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy. It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says that men are unnecessary. There were times I felt so angry with my dad for not being there for me, and then times I felt angry with myself for even wanting a father to begin with. There are parts of me that still grieve over that loss today…
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So true. My friends adopted a little girl who is now 7 years old.
What makes her unusual? What are her little schoolfriends jealous of?
Nothing to do with her adoption. Rather, the fact that she has a Dad – a father at home – makes her the object of curiosity and wonder in a time in which many kids grow up without a father.
It’s cruel, what is done to the opposite gender in the name of hatred. My mother always taught admiration and respect of the opposite gender, whatever that be. To this day I lean towards respect and consideration of females, my being male. I sometimes recoil with disgust at the way males think and act. Likewise I’ve seen females who have brought their sons up hating themselves for being male. But my dad was very masculine and I have no disrespect towards male, or female. There should be bias, submission, and love to one another. In my life I’ve found very few people of the mindset my parents gave me.